Tough conversations are part of real leadership.
They’re the moments where we choose courage over comfort, whether that be giving feedback, resetting expectations, or talking through something that matters.
This guide will help you prepare with intention, stay calm in the moment, and care for yourself (and others) afterwards.
Before you talk, plan it out.
You are already approaching the topic with some trepidation, take some time to sort out your thoughts, consider other possible perspectives, and think about what outcomes you want to see (and possible alternatives or compromises) that you want to reach.
This is the time to also let the other person know what’s coming - don’t blindside them! It let’s them know it’s not an ambush and gives them time to prepare as well.
Eg “I’d love to chat about [topic]. Would [day/time] work for you?”
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[FRAMEWORK] Planning your convo (Situation-Impact-Action)
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Even when we’re well-prepared, our nervous system can react as if we’re walking into danger.
Breathing techniques help to reset your brain and bring calmness before stressful situations - and it only takes a couple of minutes. It is scientifically shown to reduce cortisol levels (that trigger fight/flight response), bring awareness to the present state (being respectful in the convo), and improves the regulation of your emotions before a tough conversation.
Take two minutes for the box-breathing video before your conversation. It helps steady your breathing, lower tension, and bring you back to a calm, clear mindset.
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[VIDEO] Guided box breathing (1min)
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Your quick-reference guide - practical phrases, do’s and don’ts, and body-language cues to keep your conversation productive.
Use it as a confidence booster right before you step into the room (or Zoom). Remember the aim is to stay grounded, clear, and human while you talk things through.
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[CHEAT SHEET] How to approach tough convos
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Having a tough conversation takes a lot of energy, even when it goes well. Afterwards, take a moment to debrief and look after yourself.